The current Open Adoption Roundtable asks, simply, "how do you feel after a visit"?
Tired....after a house full of kids and a day full of vigilance (will Laura like me? Will Eve be OK? Will the kids all get along? Will there be enough food?)
Relieved....that it went well, and everyone had enough to eat.
Apprehensive....because I know that Eve is also exhausted, and let down after days of excitement and planning, and that the web of grief and loss and love that is hers can feel overwhelming when you turn out the light.
Sad....that Eve is feeling grief and loss and I can't make it all better.
Grateful....that I am going through all of this with Sam.
Proud....that we are building this family on a blueprint none of us have ever seen. So far we have a solid foundation and some framing in place. In a few weeks, Laura and her family will come for Eve's dance recital, and as we sit over dinner that night with my mother and brother and sister-in-law, we'll add the roof.